independent living

The Declaration of Interdependence

by Norman Kune, an American disability rights advocate

• Do not see my disability as a problem.
  Recognise that the real problem confronting disabled people is social devaluation, prejudice and oppression.
• Do not try to fix me because I am not broken.
  Support me so I can make my contribution to the community in my way.
• Do not see me as your client because I am your fellow citizen.
  See me as your neighbour who, in this time of flourishing urban isolation, is reminding you of how interdependent all of us are on each other.
• Do not try to change me. You have no right.
  Help me to learn what I need to know.
• Do not try to be a competent professional.  You will invariably do harm to me.
  Be a person who cares, who takes the time to listen, and does not take my struggle away from me by trying to make it all better.
• Do not use "pedagogical approaches" on me.  To abdicate personal responsibility for your actions behind theories and strategies is pure cowardice.
  Be with me, and when we struggle with each other, let that be the impetus of self-reflection.
• Do not try to control me.  I have a right to my power as a person.
  What you see as non-compliance and manipulation, is actually me being in conflict with you.  Help me to learn how to negotiate at times of conflict.  This is assuming, of course, that you can do this for yourself at times of anger.
• Do not teach me to be obedient, submissive or polite.  You do me know favour.
  I need to feel entitled to say "no" if I am to protect myself.
• Do not try to be my friend.  I deserve more than that.
  Get to know me.  We may become friends.
• Do not be charitable towards me.  The last thing this world needs are more (celebrities begging for money for us). Be my ally as I fight against those who exploit me for their own gratification.
• Do not help me, even if it does make you feel good.
  Ask me if I need your help.  Respect my "no" or let me show you how you can best assist me.
• Do not admire me.  A desire to live a full life does not warrant admiration. Respect me because respect assumes equality.
• Do not tell; teach and lead.
  Listen, support and follow.

Reprinted from the newsletter of TASH, The Association of Persons with Severe Handicaps, 29 West Susquehanna Avenue, Suite 210, Baltimore, MD 21204, USA